Why Are You Afraid of Her ?
by Whistler Nights
Summary: An insight as to why everyone is intimidated by Santana, especially Rachel.
1. Chapter 1

**Why Are You So Afraid of Santana?**

(I do not own Glee or any of the characters.)

The 2010 holidays had come and gone. Rachel Berry was out in the mall at the after Christmas sales trying to cheer herself up after Finn broke up with her. Her holidays had been the worst ever.

She was window shopping, intently staring at a pair of high heeled boots when another shopper looking though the same window bumped into her.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you," said the other shopper as Rachel started to apologize for being in the way.

Rachel was standing face to face with Quinn.

"Oh, Rachel, I didn't see you standing there," Quinn apologized.

"No, no, don't worry about it. I've been standing here too long staring at those boots anyway. Did you have a good Christmas?" Rachel asked.

"Yes and no," said Quinn. "My father's gone, so it was just my mom, my sister and her family, and myself. The holidays made me miss Beth even more. Do you know if she had a good first Christmas?"

"Actually, Quinn, Beth didn't have a First Christmas, she had a First Hanukkah. Like me, Shelby is Jewish," Rachel said.

"Oh, I forgot," exclaimed Quinn. "Since Puck is Jewish, that makes Beth half Jewish, so I'm glad that she is learning about her heritage. Did you get to see her?"

"Yes, I saw her on the last night of Hanukkah. She has blond curls, is sitting up on her own, and has two lower teeth. Quinn, she's a miniature clone of you, all the way down to your hazel eyes."

"Did you have a good Hanukkah?" Quinn asked Rachel. "I know that Finn broke up with you right before winter break."

"No, it was pretty bad. My dads even offered to take me to New York for the holidays, but I didn't even want to do that. Have you seen Finn? I've been so worried about him."

"No, I haven't seen him, but from what Sam tells me, he's taking this very hard. It was just this time last year that I hurt him in the worst possible way. We've both loved him, and we've both cheated on him with his best friend."

"From what Sam says, Finn thinks that your making out with another guy while you were in an exclusive relationship with him was like stabbing him in the back. But to do it with Puck was like stabbing him in the back and deliberately twisting the knife."

"I feel the same way about Santana," Rachel said. "If he had done it with you it would've been easier to take. He loved you at one time. But to do it with Santana, she's everything that I'm not."

"What do you mean?" asked Quinn.

"Well look at her," said Rachel almost surprised. "She has those perfect long legs. She's a cheerleader, and she has that perfectly shaped nose. And she's sexually well educated. She knows how to use that body to please a man and I'm still a virgin."

"Rachel, the only reason why she knows how to please a man is because she's done it with every one of them. She's the girl that all of the guys want to screw, but none of them want to take home for Sunday dinner to meet their parents. The guys want in her pants because she's bi and all teen age boys have fantasies of a three some. I've known Santana for forever and I think the only reason that she does it with anyone with a pulse is because she is very insecure. She wants to feel loved, and to have the power. If she has the power, she can't get hurt. The sexual diva act is just that, an act. Why do you think she had her boobs done?"

"But she is such a bully," Rachel interrupted.

"Yes, it was Santana who actually bullied Finn into having sex with her, and she did it because Miss Sylvester had bullied her into doing it. She didn't go after Finn because she wanted him. She went after him to send your world into orbit thus ending the Glee Club and securing her place as head cheerleader."

"How do you know this?" Rachel asked.

"Because when Brittany, Santana, and I joined Glee Club, we were Sue Sylvester's spies. I don't know why, but her main ambition in life seems to be to bring the Glee Club down. Don't you remember when we were freshmen that she didn't openly hate Mr. Schue the way she does now?"

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Rachel asked.

"Because I feel like I owe it to Finn. I not only broke his heart, I crushed him. He's been so happy since he has been with you."

Quinn continued, "Do you remember the day that you came into the choir room asking all of us girls if it was okay to say no? We all knew that you were pushing the limits with Jesse. Santana had already tired to get Finn to lose his virginity with her, but he shot her down. When you came in asking questions about how far to go with a guy, she took the information straight to Finn and implied that you two were already doing it."

"Santana knew that deflowering Finn would rock your world and you would quit. Glee couldn't win without you; Glee would lose at Regionals; Principal Figgins would disband the club; Miss Sylvester would be happy, and reward Santana with my old job. It was a slam dunk."

"Santana only wants Finn now because he's the quarterback and to hurt you. If the Beiste cuts Finn as quarterback, Santana would dump him like a hot potato. Then she'll be after Sam."

"Dating the quarterback, any quarterback increases her creds around here. And she steps on people only to make herself feel like a big shot. It's what bullies do." Quinn concluded.

"Does she hate me that much?" Rachel asked.

"It wouldn't have matter who you were dating. It could have been Jacob Ben Israel for all that matters. Santana knew that you're the key to Glee, and Miss Sylvester offered her the chance to be head cheerleader if she brought Glee down."

"For what it's worth, Santana told Brittany who told me that she had to twist Finn's arm to do it with her, and he was the only guy that she had ever been with who felt worse afterwards," Quinn concluded.

"Do you think that I've a chance of ever getting him back?" Rachel asked Quinn.

"I don't know. Trust is a huge thing with Finn and he feels like you hurt him deliberately in a way that you knew would hurt him the most. Like I said, twisting the knife."

"Quinn, he was dating you when he kissed me, isn't he being a hypocrite about this?

"Yes, and no," said Quinn, I think that the intent was different. He was already pulling away from me, and he did not make you with the intent of hurting me deliberately like you did with Puck. I think he was already planning on breaking up with me for you, when I told him that I was pregnant. Then he stuck by me because he thought that it was the right thing to do."

"Flirting with you later with the intent of keeping you in Glee Club so he could get a music scholarship, he was using you. That was cheating, but he wanted to go to college and provide for his kid and he saw you as his ticket to get there. That was wrong," Quinn told Rachel.

"I never thought of it that way," said Rachel

"Rachel, what did you hope to accomplish when you asked Puck up to your bedroom? Did you think that making out with Puck would even the score?"

"At the time, I just felt betrayed, and I wanted Finn to hurt as much as I was. I told Jesse no. I waited for Finn and he went all the way with her. I just wanted us to be each other's firsts.'

"Firsts are over rated," Quinn said to Rachel. "I let Puck talk me into it NOT because I wanted to hurt Finn, but because I was feeling fat that day. I just wanted to feel pretty and wanted and I was drunk."

"When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't want Puck in my life, I didn't love him. I wanted Finn, so I lied. I'll always love Finn, but I've done too much damage to him."

"Rachel, the best advice that I can give you is to try and earn his trust again, and give up keeping score. Finn may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's the kindest, decentness guy in this school. It's going to take him sometime to trust again. He has put his heart out there twice and had it torn up and thrown in his face twice, but your actions will speak louder than words."

-/- This is a repost of a story that I lost when my FanFiction account was deleted. I have received several requests to post it again. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Two more chapters to go. Thank you so much Whistler Nights


	2. Chapter 2

Betrayal or Hurt Pride? Chapter 2

( I do not own Glee of any of the characters.)

Burt and Carole's first Christmas as husband and wife was over and the sad Christmas tree sat in the corner, slowly dropping its needles. One present remained under the tree. It was the one that Finn had bought for Rachel before Santana had told the whole world about the biggest mistake of his life, and Rachel had made out with Puck to get even. Finn had made a point of buying Hanukkah paper to wrap it in since Rachel was Jewish and she didn't celebrate Christmas. Carole had scooted the gift to the back for now. Out of sight but not out of mind.

One of the many college football bowl games was on TV and Carole and Burt were trying to watch it, but every ten seconds they could hear, BANG, Bang, Smack over and over again coming from the room beneath them. With every bang, another needle fell from the dying Christmas tree.

"What in the heck is Finn doing down there?" Burt said annoyed.

"He's having girl trouble," Kurt said from the kitchen. "He is hitting the wall with a baseball."

"Is he still moping around about Rachel? That's been going on for two weeks now." Burt was getting upset that his game was being interrupted by the banging and the house was being damaged with all of the ball throwing.

"Carole, did he ever tell you what happened?" Burt asked.

"He never really told me directly, but from what I've gleamed, he had sex with Santana after Quinn, but before Rachel, and then lied to Rachel about it," Carole told her new husband. "He really didn't want to talk to me about it."

"Is Rachel more bent out of shape over the sex or the lie?" Burt asked.

"Both, but it's really the who that had her so torn up," Carole answered.

"The who? I don't get it."

"Rachel has always thought that she wasn't pretty or at least not pretty enough for Finn the quarterback. Santana isn't only a Cherrio, but also one of the most beautiful girls in school. Rachel's afraid that Finn will dump her for another beautiful cheerleader," Carole concluded.

"Carole's right you know. Rachel has felt that she isn't good enough for Finn," Kurt interjected. "Santana is a double threat to her when it comes to Finn, and Santana knows how to push Rachel's buttons."

"If Finn was between girlfriends, and he ultimately chose Rachel, what's the problem? Is it the lie that has caused all of the misery in this house?" Burt wanted to know.

"Yes and no," said Kurt. "Rachel did forgive Finn, but in the mean time she made out with Puck to hurt Finn and then confessed to Finn about it."

"Making out as in kissing, or making out as in having sex, or something in between? There's a difference," Burt said to his son.

"Making out as in kissing from what I'm hearing. But Finn is convinced that Rachel was determined to throw away her V-card with Puck just to get even. And that she chose Puck just to pour salt in an old wound. Puck couldn't hurt Finn like that twice so he walked away before it got past the kissing," Kurt told his dad.

"Well maybe there's some decency in Noah," Carole added.

"Have either of you tried to talk to him?" Burt asked.

"He says that there is nothing left to say, and that he's ready to be a monk and join a monastery," Carole said.

"I'm really having trouble seeing it from a guy's point of view," Kurt added.

"Would you care if I talked to him while we still have a house with windows in it?" Burt asked Carole. "I know that I'm not his dad, but I'm a guy and I've lived a few years."

"Anything is worth a try, but he's still a leery of talks with you since the last time," Carole said a little worried.

Burt got up from the couch and made his way down the stairs to the basement to find Finn sitting crossways on his bed banging a baseball against the opposing block wall. Burt didn't say a thing, but went over to Finn's pile of sporting equipment and picked out another baseball and glove, sat down beside Finn and started hitting the same block wall with the baseball in time with Finn.

"Is something eating at you?" Burt said to his new step-son.

"Nah, nothing that I want to talk about," Finn said as the two kept hitting the wall throw for throw.

Carole and Kurt were upstairs listening to the wall banging now in stereo when Carole said that she was going to go down and see what was going on. Kurt stopped her, "Let Dad have a little time with him, all that it's going to cost is a can of paint."

After a while, Finn finally spoke as he continued to hammer the wall with the ball, "Where girls this much trouble when you were a teenager?"

"Yes, but in the end they're worth it." Burt said never losing the rhythm of their duel baseball throwing.

"I take it that Kurt and Mom have told you about me and Rachel?"

"For the most part they have, we're all concern about you."

"Then you know that Rachel cheated on me with Puck just to hurt me, just to get even. She knew that this would hurt me in the worst possible way, and she went after Puck. My ex-best friend who impregnated MY girlfriend just last year."

"Well you did lie to her, and you didn't fess-up that you had already done it with Santana?"

"Yes, but Rachel and I weren't dating when it happened, and I lied because she lied. She told me that she and Jesse had done it, and it was no big deal. I lied because I didn't want to hurt her, and doing it with Santana felt like nothing, because it meant nothing. I wasn't in love with Santana. I only did it because I thought losing my V- card would make me feel like the Big Man On Campus, a stud. Not the fool Quinn made me."

"Finn, you're splitting hairs, either you did it or you didn't do it."

"Okay, I did it with Santana, but only because Santana told me that Rachel was doing it with Jesse – another lie."

"Kurt seems to think that Rachel's intimidated by Santana," Burt added.

"She is, Santana's smoking hot from top to bottom, a cheerleader, and she puts out."

"All the things that Rachel feels that she isn't, all the things that she feels the star quarterback would want in a girlfriend. Have you told Rachel that she's smoking hot?

"I'm not an expert on these things, but to me smoking hot means beautiful and desirable," Burt said hitting the wall again.

Finn thought for a moment and then he remembered their couples counseling with Ms Pillsbury/Howell. He had said right in front of Rachel that he thought Santana was super hot. Then he remembered rehearsing for Rocky Horror. Rachel asked him if he thought she was hot, and he sort of shrugged off his answer.

"Is that still a reason to go off and make out with the one person that she knew would hurt me the most?" Finn asked still pounding the wall with the baseball in unison with Burt.

"I really don't think that she went after him as much as he was available. Have you talked to Puck about this at all?"

"For just a moment, I wanted to know who started the making out. He said that Rachel did, but when he stuck his tongue in her month, she bit him. He tried to continue, but he couldn't screw me over again."

"Normally, Finn, I'd tell you that this is too much information, but doesn't the fact that she bit him when he tried to up the action tell you something. Either she is a bad kisser, she does not like that kind of kissing, or subconsciously her heart was just not in it," Burt said hitting the wall a little harder.

"Oh Rachel's a great kisser, and she likes tongue," Finn said without meaning to say it.

Both Finn and Burt sat there for a few moments, a little embarrassed by the conversation that had just passed between them.

Burt finally said, "Finn, how are you going to feel this spring when Rachel has moved on and you have nothing but your pride? I think that this whole mess of lies started last spring when she had moved on to Jesse and you realized that you loved her."

Finn finally stopped throwing the baseball.

"I'm glad that you stopped, my arm was getting tired," Burt said.

"Thanks Burt, you've given me a lot to think about."

Burt got up to leave, but turned to Finn and said,

"Tomorrow, I want you to help your mom and Kurt take down that sad Christmas tree while it still has one or two needles left. When you have finished, I want you to come by the shop. I'll have something for you." 

"What?" said Finn.

"A bucket of paint and a paint roller. I want this wall painted tomorrow," Burt said as he headed up the stairs.

Finn laughed and headed up the stairs behind Burt to watch the next bowl game.

"Thank you God," said Carole. "All of that baseball bouncing was giving me a headache."

"We've got to get up early tomorrow, Mom. Burt wants this sad tree put out of its misery before he gets home from work."

Finn spent the first part of the night thinking about what Burt had said. Was he betrayed or was it just hurt pride? He didn't know, but seeing Rachel on another guy's arm was not something that he was prepared for. Tomorrow, after he finished helping his mom and Kurt with the tree, and repainting the basement wall, he'd go over to Rachel's house and see if she wanted to just talk. He still had her Hanukkah gift. Maybe he'd take the wrapping paper off and make it a New Years present instead.

-/- Thank you for reading and reviewing. One more chapter to go. Whistler Nights


	3. Chapter 3 Can We Talk

**Can We Talk? Chapter 3**

(I do not own Glee or any of the characters.)

Finn had gotten up early on that morning in late December. He carefully removed all of the ornaments and placed them in a basket for Carole and Kurt to put away later. It'd been a combined collection of Hudson / Hummel ornaments this year. Kurt had wanted a Victorian themed tree but was over ruled by Carole and Burt. Ornaments that had been collected by both families over the years had hung side by side. Finn had eagerly helped set up the tree and was so excited for Christmas this year. It'd be his first Christmas with Rachel, but that was before his world came crashing down.

It'd taken him a long time to go to sleep in his tiny bed the night before. Burt's words kept ringing in his ears. He still didn't know if it was betrayal, hurt pride, or both, but he had decided that he wanted to talk it out with Rachel.

The ornaments were off of the tree and Finn was unplugging the last string of lights from the wall when he saw Rachel's Hanukkah present under the tree. He knew that it was there. On Christmas morning, it was the last unopened present. His mom must have moved it to the back. Finn has winced every time he saw the silver paper with the blue menorahs on it. Just a month ago he had picked out the Hanukkah wrapping paper with such care. Now he didn't want to see it. He took the present to his room and placed it on his desk, and the sad tree out to the curb. The tree had been a reminder of the worst Christmas of his life and he was glad that it was gone.

Rushing over to Burt's Tire and Lube Shop, Burt had a gallon of paint, brushes, and a new paint roller waiting for him.

"Are you feeling any better today?" Burt asked Finn as he loaded the paint supplies into his truck.

"Yeah, thanks for the talk. Why did you buy so much paint for one wall?" Finn asked.

"Well love never runs smooth; you may have to use that wall again for catching practice. Besides I want to get our old house and your old house on the market soon so we can move into a larger one as a family before spring."

"Burt, that would be cool," Finn said.

"Yes, and when we do find a bigger house, I want to find one with a room big enough for you to have a bigger bed. You'e hanging off of both ends of the one that you have."

"That'd really be cool," Finn smiled. "Don't tell Kurt, but since he has been at Dalton, I've been sleeping in his king size bed. I feel like the Goldilocks or papa bear in the Three Bears story."

"I won't tell him a thing," Kurt smiled. "Have you given any thought about talking it out with Rachel?"

"I'm going to give her a call when I finish painting the wall with all of the ball marks on it. If she says no, I may paint my entire side of the basement. There's enough paint here to do it."

"Well good luck son, and make sure that you use the drop cloths," Burt said patting Finn on the shoulder.

As Finn was driving back, he realized that Burt had called him "son". Maybe that would be a good omen for the day ahead.

Finn painted the wall in record time and Kurt even helped him do it when he found out that Finn was going to call Rachel. As Finn showered and dressed, Kurt cleaned up the paint brushes and the drop cloths.

"I owe you one little brother," Finn said to Kurt as he was preparing to make the call. "If you ever need to work out any frustrations with Blaine, feel free to use my baseball and glove. It works wonders but Burt will make you repaint the wall."

Now cleaned up and dressed, Finn pulled out his phone and opened it. Number one on his speed dial was still Rachel; he hadn't able to bring himself to change it.

He heard her phone ring once, twice, three times, before a sad sounding voice on the other end said, "Finn, is that you?"

"Yeah Rach, it's me."

"Are you ready to forgive me," she said hopefully.

"I'm ready to talk, would it be alright if I come over or would you like to meet somewhere?"

"You can come over here; I was just practicing the piano."

Twenty minutes later, Finn stood in front of the Berry's front door. So many times he had been greeted with hugs and kisses in this very spot. Now he only heard the strands of a very sad sounding song being played on the piano."

"Hello Finn, please come in," Rachel said as she opened the door for him. "I'm so glad that you wanted to try and talk this out. I was so wrong and don't have any excuses."

"I was wrong too," Finn said. "I don't know if we can make a go of it again, but I'd like to try and end some of this hurting one way or the other."

"Do you still love me," Rachel asked.

"Of course I do, it's not like a faucet that you can turn on and off. I think that's why this is so painful."

"I love you too. Even when I stood in that choir room with Santana regaling me with all of those motel room details, I loved you, I still do. I acted out of anger when I made out with Puck. I was hurting, and I wanted you to hurt just as badly."

"But why Puck, you had to have known how sensitive I would be?"

"What Puck had done to you didn't occur to me at the time, I was broken hearted. Puck was the only person that was talking to me. Santana herself said that the entire team only pretended to like me. Kurt was at Dalton, you were gone, and Mercedes wanted to preserve me in a jar in her basement."

Rachel continued, "But why Santana, you know that I'm intimidated by her looks, her popularity, her sexual prowess," Rachel asked.

"Don't you mean her sexual promiscuity?" Finn interrupted. Rachel, I realized that I may not have told you enough how beautiful you are to me. That song that I sang at Mom's wedding, I should've sung it to you alone. I love you just the way you are. I really wish that you could look in the mirror and see the Rachel that I see?"

"But you said that Santana was super hot," Rachel said in her own defense.

"And she's a bully too. She also has had sex with half the guys in school which I'm very sad to say includes me."

"And Puck has had sex with half of the girls in school, but not with me," Rachel said softly.

"Rachel, if Puck hadn't stopped, would you have gone all the way with him?" Finn asked trying to remain calm.

"Probably not, I couldn't go all the way with Jesse, because he was not you. I couldn't fool around with Puck last year because he was not you. My angry gut wanted nothing more than to hurt you, but my heart was screaming at me to stop because he wasn't you. I'm glad that Puck was thinking rationally, because I was acting out of revenge and he knew it."

"I wish that my heart had been screaming at me to stop last spring with Santana. It was the biggest mistake of my life. We've both used or been used by Santana and Puck to get over hurting each other and, I'd like for that to stop. I now realize how Santana affects you, and you know how Puck affects me. Can we call a truce, and stop letting other people push our buttons?"

"I'd like nothing better," Rachel smiled hopefully. "I know that I broke your trust and it's going to take time for you to get over that."

"We broke each other's trust, Rachel. We both lied; we both did things that we wish we could take back. I think that we need to start trusting in each other first. The only real mistakes in life are the ones that you do not learn from."

"Finn, can you forgive me? You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I threw us away."

"I'd like to try again, Rachel. I was devastated when you told be about making out with Puck, sort of like I was this time last year over Quinn. But I never mourned the end of that relationship. I mourned losing Beth, but the last three weeks have been like a long slow death. All I know is that losing you would be even worse than what I'm feeling now and this is pretty damn bad. I want to learn to trust again."

"I'd like that very much," Rachel said squeezing his hand.

"Me too," Finn said. "I still have your Christmas/Hanukkah present if you'd like to have it?"

He handed her the box with the menorah wrapping paper on it and she slowly unwrapped it. Inside she found eight small boxes all number one through eight.

"What's this?" Rachel asked

"I'm not Jewish, but don't you give one present for each of eight nights?" Finn asked.

Rachel nodded as she open up the box that was marked one. Inside she found a gleaming gold bracelet.

"Finn, this bracelet it gorgeous," she said hugging his neck.

"That's not all, keep going," he said with his trademark half smile.

Box number two contained a Star of David golden charm.

Box number three contained a treble cleft gold charm.

Box number four contained a NY charm in dazzling gold.

Box number five contained a shining golden star with a tiny diamond set in the center.

Box number six contained the smiling Broadway mask charm in gleaming gold.

Box number seven contained a golden frowning Broadway mask charm.

In box number eight, Rachel found a golden heart shaped charm with her name engraved on one side and Finn's name engraved on the other.

Rachel was speechless.

"I know that charm bracelets are kind of old fashion and cheesy, but I wanted to give you something that represents you. And the last one, the heart shaped one with our names on either side? Rachel, I feel like we are opposite sides of the same coin. Different, but not whole without the other."

Rachel was still speechless. With tears in her eyes, she hugged Finn for the longest time as he rubbed her back with small circles. Finally she whispered, "Thank you, I love you so much."

"I love you too," Finn whispered back.

The End, I hope that you enjoyed the story. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Whistler Nights

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